Contradictions & Dilemmas

A friend once casually commented “You run away from your problems”. It made me think; it seems like that is indeed what I have been doing all along. I, like all others, seek inner peace. In doing so, I avoid anything that I deem may cause emotional pain. I am emotionally lazy according to another friend. I would go to the extent of cutting a person off completely just to avoid taking chances. I am here half way across the globe from the city I grew up in, because I felt insecure. I have not a single idea if the comfortable setting that I worked so hard to obtain will remain. It has actually started falling apart, throwing me off guard. It is suffocating to think I am no longer in control. For these, I left on my journey to prove to myself things are still in my own hands.

I get frustrated when friends at home make it seem like it was easy for me to take this step. “Good, I hope you stay there (whichever city I end up being, away from home), because then I have an excuse to go there.” No, I don’t think it is that simple. I am out here alone to have to forge the connections I had from scratch again. No actually it is not that easy, I try not to think about it. But in the end it is my choice to run away.

The City with Cranes (everywhere)

While I was expected the dramatic music of “Shanghai Tan” playing in the background and the Huang Pu River running wild on the side as I approach the Bund. Well, that didn’t quite happened. Instead I was welcomed by cranes and construction detours. It is quite unfortunate that the Art Deco buildings at the river front are blocked by ongoing constructions for the 2010 world expo. But, all for the better future.



I was strolling down a side street on my way to the Old City and came across this sweet little local neighborhood. Historic houses which are a bit rundown but with a personal touch, street vendors on the main street in the community selling all sorts of fresh produces, alley ways that lead to the inner courtyards of the living quarters. I feel like I was transported to a different era. Something not from this mega metropolis.

Goodbye My Love, see you in two months

I am going to write on this as much as possible :) Let’s see how long this would last. I am at the British Airways airport lounge. The wireless connection wouldn’t work for some weird reason. I will blame this on Vista. But you know what I am not complaining. The super nice attendant at Cathy Pacific who checked me in decided to upgrade my 15 hr, 15 Hours! flight to business class. Thinking about how dreadful it would be to be in that tiny seat in the back for 15 long hours is already painful. So glad, uber nice lady!

xo,
n